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74 Motorcycle Jokes & One-Liners

1. My motorcycle doesn’t leak oil — it’s marking its territory.
2. Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul… and empty the wallet.
3. I don’t snore. I dream I’m a motorcycle.
4. My bike is faster than my common sense.
5. Riding a motorcycle is like meditation… except louder and more expensive.
6. My favourite sound? My exhaust apologizing to the neighbourhood.
7. I asked my bike if it wanted to go for a ride. It said, “Bruh, always.”
8. You can’t buy happiness… but you can buy a motorcycle, which is basically the same thing.
9. My motorcycle has two speeds: fast, and “hope the cops didn’t see that.”
10. Why don’t motorcycles get lost? They follow the path of least traffic.
11. Driving a car is like watching TV. Riding a bike is like starring in the movie.
12. My bike and I have a special relationship — we both fall apart without proper maintenance.
13. Helmets: because asphalt tastes terrible.
14. Why do motorcyclists smile? Because bugs don’t taste that bad.
15. My motorcycle doesn’t need a GPS. It just takes me where my problems can’t follow.
16. Riding tip: If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough.
17. I don’t ride to escape life. I ride to make life not escape me.
18. The only thing more stubborn than me is my carburetor.
19. Every motorcycle is a mystery box of what’s going to rattle next.
20. My riding style? Somewhere between “cautious” and “hold my drink.”
21. I bought a Harley to save money on gas… now I’m broke in style.
22. My motorcycle seat is more supportive than my friends.
23. Why don’t motorcycles trust cars? Too many red-flag drivers.
24. Motorcycle math: less weight + more throttle = better mood.
25. If you think motorcycles are dangerous, try being boring.
26. My motorcycle and I have one rule: never ask how old we are.
27. I don’t chase happiness — I chase the horizon.
28. My bike doesn’t judge me. It just revs supportively.
29. Bikers don’t go bald — we gain aerodynamic advantage.
30. My motorcycle is my therapist, except I don’t have to explain my problems.
31. I don’t trip. I do accidental stunts.
32. The louder the bike, the smaller the stress.
33. My motorcycle isn’t loud — it’s passionate.
34. Adventure begins when the pavement ends… or when the gas light turns on.
35. Why do motorcycles make terrible comedians? Their timing is always a bit off.
36. My bike burns more gas than calories — same as me.
37. I brake for corners… sometimes.
38. Motorcycles don’t leak — they’re just marking their resting spots.
39. You know you're a rider when the weather app decides your whole weekend.
40. The only thing more powerful than my engine? My excuses to ride.
41. My motorcycle is fast. My bank account… not so much.
42. Warning: Riding may cause excessive smiling.
43. Don’t worry about getting lost — the bike knows the way.
44. My motorcycle is old, but so is the Earth. Both still work.
45. “Just one more upgrade,” I whisper to my empty wallet.
46. My bike doesn’t stall — it takes dramatic pauses.
47. If you think nobody cares, leave your bike unlocked.
48. Motorcycle weather: anything above “hypothermia.”
49. Riding during bug season builds protein.
50. Motorcycles: turning grown adults into weekend superheroes since forever.
51. I don’t have road rage. I have road disappointment.
52. My bike doesn’t need turn signals… it just vibes.
53. The best alarm clock? A neighbour starting his bike at 6am.
54. I ride because punching people is frowned upon.
55. Wind therapy: cheaper than therapy therapy.
56. My motorcycle doesn’t mind my bad decisions. It encourages them.
57. Happiness is a full tank and an empty schedule.
58. If you can read this, I lost my riding group again.
59. My favourite road sign? “Twisty Road Next 30 km.”
60. I don’t do drugs. I do RPMs.
61. If speed kills, then I’m just lightly bruised.
62. My bike isn’t slow — it’s just taking in the scenery.
63. Sweat dries. Blood clots. Bones heal. But riding memories? Forever.
64. I asked my bike what it wanted for its birthday. It said, “New tires. Don’t be cheap.”
65. I don’t fear death. I fear dropping my bike in front of people.
66. My motorcycle and I share one motto: keep moving forward.
67. Riding without music? I have an exhaust for that.
68. My bike doesn’t vibrate — it communicates energetically.
69. Motorcycles bring people together — mostly at gas stations.
70. My favourite gear? The one that makes the most noise.
71. Stalling your bike at a red light builds character.
72. My motorcycle isn’t a hobby — it’s a full-time commitment.
73. You can’t buy love… but you can buy premium fuel.
74. My bike knows all my secrets — mostly because I scream them into my helmet.

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