30 Jokes about Crypto Currency

1. I bought the dip. It introduced me to the basement.
2. My crypto portfolio is 80% optimism, 20% screenshots of better days.
3. I didn’t lose money in crypto — I decentralized it.
4. “To the moon!” — we forgot about fuel.
5. I have diamond hands. Unfortunately, cubic zirconia returns.
6. My cold wallet is colder than my ex.
7. I mine crypto the old-fashioned way — I dig financial holes.
8. My favorite stablecoin is my bank account.
9. I HODL because selling would make it real.
10. I invested in Web3. Now I can’t connect to WiFi or reality.
11. Gas fees cost more than my dinner plans.
12. I told my parents I’m into crypto. They said, “We preferred when you gambled normally.”
13. My NFT is rare. So are the offers.
14. I bought early. Just not early enough.
15. My portfolio chart looks like a ski slope.
16. I don’t panic sell — I panic refresh.
17. I invested in a meme coin. The meme lasted longer than the coin.
18. My risk tolerance is “YOLO” with a spreadsheet.
19. I don’t need therapy. I need a bull run.
20. Blockchain is transparent. My losses are too.
21. I said “long term.” The market heard “long suffering.”
22. I diversify across different kinds of regret.
23. I thought it was a bull market. It was just a cat jumping.
24. My crypto strategy? Buy hype, sell hope.
25. At least my coins are consistent — consistently volatile.
26. I wanted financial freedom. I got emotional growth.
27. My wallet has two settings: empty and pending.
28. I joined for the tech. Stayed for the trauma.
29. I don’t check prices every minute. Only every 30 seconds.
30. My retirement plan is a surprise to everyone, including me.